A slayers fanfic by Majo-chan
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She was going insane.
Not instantly insane, not insanity forced upon her by someone else. No, this torment was self-inflicted, and self-induced. This torment came within.
She got up from her seat slowly, willing herself to do something, anything, that was normal. She didn’t want to think of all those things that she had lost, and the one thing that she wanted…that she was losing.
" I hate myself." She whispered. Why was she always like this? Always beaten and defeated? Why couldn’t she stand up for herself, forcing her will on others like she had seen Lina do so many times.
Darkness beyond twilight…
She shook her head. No, she will not fall. Not into the darkness.
" I miss him…" She said, not knowing which him she meant. Her father who had perished a year ago? Or him, her knight in shining armor…the one who left her behind. It wasn’t his fault, he didn’t know. But she felt like she was going insane.
Crimson beyond blood that flows…
Shielfiel wandered outside, running easily over the hard-packed dirt road. Crazily, she had the feeling that she was trying to catch up, reliving that moment when he departed, with her, on their next journey while she stood there and watched them go. Shielfiel had wanted to chase him, to run and catch up, maybe even go with them. Go with him.
In thy great name, buried in the flow of time…
She could feel the spell building. It was difficult for her to handle it, since her forte was white magic, but she had learned early on that it was the will that mattered, not talent or skill. She had the will.
" I’m tired of being in her shadow."
" Lina’s nothing like you. She’s rude, loud, violent and a glutton. Sometimes I wish she’d be more like you, Shielfiel."
" Gourry? I’m traveling with him for his Sword of Light."
Lina Inverse was nothing like her, just like she was nothing like Lina Inverse. She wasn’t loud or rude, violent or uncompromising. She wasn’t selfish or uncaring. And she didn’t have Lina’s charm, her charisma, her appeal. She didn’t have Gourry.
I hereby pledge myself to darkness…
She didn’t hate Lina. No, it wasn’t hate. Lina had saved her life, shown her compassion. Shielfiel, in that brief battle with Rezo, had finally seen what Gourry had seen in Lina. She just felt so damn useless and helpless all the time. The reports coming from New Sairaag, this feeling that she was being left behind.
Red light glowed in her hands as she concentrated, forcing the dark energy to bow to her will. Forcing it in a way that she had never forced anyone or anything before in her life. Maybe that was what made Lina so dynamic, having to constantly fight for control over this magic that seemed to have a will of its own.
Let the fools who stand before me…
Shielfiel gritted her teeth. She refused to lose! If Gourry likes strength, then she will be strong. She wanted to stand a chance, at the very least. She didn’t want to sit out of this conflict, giving away to the wishes of others like she had always done.
Be destroyed by the power we both possess!
She was sick of being overshadowed by Lina, the one whose flame burned more brightly than her Fireballs. The one who is so bright, that she casts shadows on everyone she touches. Bright, burning light gathered, condensing even more in her hands. Let the shadows be seared by this light, she prayed. Free me of these shadows.
DRAGON SLAVE!
The white priestess passed through the forest quietly, confidently. Her green eyes missed nothing, yet imparted no nervousness. She walked like a woman sure of her surroundings and of herself. Shielfiel smiled, almost giddy with this new sense of self-confidence and freedom.
Lina’s shadow no longer fell on her.
End