A Slayers Fanfic by Majo-chan
Author's note: Not much, actually, except that I think I'm off my angst mode. Thank the gods! Ur...this is kinda like an internal/external dialog thing. I'll try to make it as un-confusing as possible. But you know me...I'm confusing by nature...
" Good morning, Lina-san." Oh, dear. Is it really safe to eat that fast?
" Grrmm Rghm, reross."
" I guess that meant good morning..." Is it safe to eat that much?
" Hello, Xelloss-san. Did you sleep well?"
No, I didn't, your Royal Hyper Highness. " That is a secret."
" Why do we care anyway? Mazoku don't sleep."
" Aw, and I love you too, Zelgadis-san." Mazoku don't need sleep. But they do sleep. The difference is lost on him, obviously. But I do love his emotions.
Tasty.
"Stuff it."
What a bunch of weirdos. I need a break.
"What were we talking about?"
Now it's: What did I do to deserve this??
"Nothing important, Gourry-san. Just eat your breakfast."
What in the world did I do to deserve such punishment. You're so mean, Xellas-sama...
"What are we doing today?"
Blow up bandits, fight dark lords, eat and sleep. What else is new?
"We're gonna look for TREASUR-I mean, ZEL'S CURE!!!"
Nice save, Lina. Too bad he heard you the first time.
" Where might that be, Miss Know-it-All?"
Sarcasm in the mornings? He must have had lots of coffee already.
"NEVER GIVE UP!"
Oh, my god. No. If you have any mercy at all!
"Justice will prevail! There is a cure out there and we will find it! The Allies of Justice will help one of their own!"
I think I'm going to be sick.
"Amelia, it's too early in the morning to be giving Justice speeches."
"But Zelgadis-san..."
I think...I need to get out of here...
"What's wrong, Xelloss-san? You look a little pale."
You're what's wrong, Miss Justice. " Nothing, Amelia-san."
"Well, that's all settled!" Let me guess, more food. "Waitress! I want five more orders of Breakfast A! And make it snappy!"
Gee, how'd I ever guess?
"What's for lunch, Xel?"
This place is so messy. " I restocked, Xellas-sama."
"Oh, that's great! And the wine?"
"I got some from Luna-san." She wasn't happy about it. " And she told me to tell you that you should cut back. Zephilia can't keep up with your rate of consumption."
"Luna's a square. Ignore her until next time."
This place really is messy. " Would you mind if I cleaned up a little?"
"I love having you home. You're such a great housekeeper. Go right ahead."
Me? Love chores? No way. But I do want to survive the next attack of the Killer Laundry. And not die suffocating from dust.
"Yes, Xellas-sama."
"How's the mission going?"
Phibrizo's a brat, Lina's a bitch, Amelia is impossible, Gourry is even more impossible, and Zelgadis makes a great meal.
"Everything's fine, Xellas-sama."
"I want to meet Lina someday. From what Luna tells me, she's got an impressive temper."
I think 'impressive' isn't quite an impressive enough word to describe it.
"If you say so, Xellas-sama."
Xellas-sama and Lina? Don't I get enough to clean up from Luna's visits? Heaven forbid Lina and Xellas-sama ever meet.
"Are you going to be home for dinner, Xel?"
That might be a little suspicious. I can see Lina killing me for disappearing during meal times because she thinks I'm having a delicious meal without her...
"I don't know. Maybe."
"I see. It depends on what turns out after the battle. Speaking of battles, I think the one they're in is almost over. You should be getting back."
No! No way! Please? Let me stay! They're so weird!
"Yes, Xellas-sama."
Well, being late means hell to pay.
"WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU!??!!!"
Impressive is not strong enough. Maybe terrifying. Or overwhelmingly frightening. Or tasty...
What a time to get hungry.
"LISTEN TO ME DAMMIT! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"
"We could've used your help, Xelloss-san."
Ahh, that tastes good...
"You lying, two-faced, damn MAZOKU! You KNEW it was a TRAP!"
Ohh, anger's nice too.
"LISTEN TO ME!"
Well, the smack caught my attention. You were saying? I doubt I'll get a word in edgewise but it's worth a try..." But Lina-san..."
"SHUT UP! PEOPLE COULD'VE DIED!!"
See? And do I care if anyone died? No. So why are you mad at me?
"Lina-san..."
"I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR BUTT!"
I see talking isn't her strong point.
" DITCHING US IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE LIKE THAT!!!"
Definitely not her strong point.
"Uh, Lina-san, he's looking a little flattened..."
And enjoying it, most definitely. It's easy to forget how amusing these Humans are sometimes...
"Flatten him some more. Or, I know. Let me help!"
Never knew the chimera had a homicidal streak in him. Must be that 1/3 mazoku...
"Ah, Zelgadis-san! Don't help her! It's unjust!"
Oh, no. Not another justice speech. Gods, no.
"Ano...why are we beating Xelloss up again?"
...I'm not surprised.
"GOURRY! HE LEFT US TO FIGHT THAT MONSTER IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!"
"Where?"
"AGGRRRHHH!"
Ouch, that must have hurt, Gourry-san. " Ano, Lina-san..."
"This better be GOOD."
Or else I will be Dragon Slaved. I knew as much. " I had to leave. Orders, you know. Tell you what, I'll treat you all to dinner to make up for it."
Mention the magic word...
"FOOD?! ...i'm still mad!"
Mention the second magic word..." And I'll lead you to where the Clair Bible is. Honestly." Not.
"FOOD AND TREASURE!? LET'S GO!"
Remember, Smile and Nod. That'll get you places.
As Lina would say, Victory!
"Wait, Lina-"
"FOOD! DINNER AWAITS US! LET'S GO!!!!!!"
Xellas-sama, you're too cruel. You're so evil...and I'm hungry. I guess I'll just have to snitch some of Lina's food and make it look like Gourry did it. Then they'll fight and I'll be fed. Hopefully. And Xellas-sama wanted me home for dinner too... " Where do you want to eat, Lina-san?" Let me guess...
"The most expensive restaurant in this town! I'm not letting you off easy!"
I need a break.
The End