Author’s note: Ur….rather odd, methinks. What else can you expect from something born out of exhaustion and the listening of too many weird songs?^_^ Oh, and also dark, angsty, and generally insane. After all, that’s what he is. No particular timeline, although it would fit pretty well between the first and second season.
**
A scream, a tinkle, a shattering of silence. A dream, a frown, a flicker of light in darkness. A thud, a rustle, against carpet as red as blood. A smile. A child’s smile.
I sigh blissfully as the man writhing at my feet continued to radiate delicious fear and terror. I don’t know which is better, the slow killing of innocents, or of those that are not-so-innocent. The ones that are undeserving have the most satisfying tang of confusion in their fear, always dying with the " why?" still on their lips. I love to kneel down to them, raise their eyes to mine, and see their fear increase as they stare into my eyes. Eyes that are frightening enough without their counterpart, a child’s smile.
The ones that deserve every bit of torture I put them through seem to know that they are doomed. It’s fun to watch them pray for mercy and forgiveness, knowing that it was hypocrisy to do so. Delightfully enough, the gods that they pray to ignore them, just as they had ignored the pleas of those that were wronged by them. There is certain poetic justice to that, isn’t there? That a murderous drunken father sees the same child’s smile before he dies?
I sit back and toy with the fractured orb in my hand. It was paper thin and ready to shatter at any moment. But that would mean death, and I have enough death to entertain me for a long time. No, I crave sacrifice, I crave insanity, I want to break them before I kill them. I smile again, wearing my favorite form.
A child’s smile.
" Do you want to die? Do you want to be destroyed?" I ask compulsively. There is nothing in the man’s eyes as my fist clenched and his soul is crushed in my grip. Shattered because it was as fragile as an egg.
I watch him fall dead, watch him stiffen up, then incinerated him without a thought. Just another human that was unfortunate enough to run into me. I opened my hand to see the small, thin shards laying pitifully in my palm, all that man ever was, laying broken in my child’s palm.
A sting.
I looked at my hand, smile widening as the flesh paled just a little before the small cut bled. I smile at the sensation of pain in my palm as I brush away the shards roughly. But the pain was only temporary, leaving me disappointed.
Only the shattered pieces of someone’s soul could hurt me, I have long since discovered. But the orb is the essence of a person’s soul, and not many have wills and souls and minds strong enough to hurt me. At the most, they only scratch and make me bleed before the pain goes away. I needed that pain, I needed to feel it as well as inflict it, because the pain tells me that I’m still alive. I’ve lived a long, long time, and sometimes I wonder if I’m dead, because there was no way to tell.
Xellas feels alive when she hunts. Dolphin feels alive when she’s dreaming. Grausheela feels alive when he’s working with his machinations. Garv feels alive when he’s fighting. I used to feel alive when I plotted death for all living things…but now I only feel alive when pain visits me.
I mused over this as I hop off the throne to walk to the window. Of course, the window doesn’t really exist, neither does the throne. I made a mental note to remodel my realm soon. I haven’t changed anything since the war, and this form I wear now is not suited for romping through winding stairs, impressive thrones, and annoyingly long hallways.
When pain visits me? When will pain and death visit me at the same time? That was the problem, wasn’t it? I don’t know if I’m alive, and pain tells me I’m alive. But I don’t want to be alive. It is so tiring.
I want death to come for me, but I am death. How can I bring death to myself?
I change my mind and veer away from the window. It is nonexistent, and can’t tell me what I don’t know. Better to start the search now.
Short legs were getting me nowhere and I switched to a more convenient form, a tall man in black. The body that these long halls were designed for. That got me moving much faster and I reached my destination in a few more seconds.
I shift back to the child’s body right before I opened the door, cursing a little as I remembered that yes, those doors were also created for a taller, stronger person than the child that I am now. However, I managed to force it open.
The dark of the room was pushed back by the light through the door. As if in response, or sensing my presence, the light from the orbs increased in intensity. The room was soon lit up with gold, and I smile as I enter.
Those were the strongest soul orbs that I could find, here in my domain. Those were the people who ruled, either with strength, magic, or determination, up in the earthly plane. Their souls burn brightly, like candle light in the dim night. Still though, I don’t have much difficulty crushing them. It just takes a little bit longer and a little bit more effort on my part. I still haven’t given up hope…that maybe one of them, just one of them…will be strong enough to cut me deeply enough when it shatters for me to die. Something that will cut like real glass, and hurt even me. Real hurt, not like the scratches and cuts that the normal souls inflict. Deeper cuts that will well blood until I am drained as dry as I feel. Devoid of life is what this master of death wanted.
I chuckle, wondering what is making me think those thoughts. I wanted to be dead, yes. I wanted to destroy the world too. I wanted a lot of things, but I am not a god. I merely manipulate the puppet strings of life and nothing else. I tire of it all.
Those orbs comfort me, because I know there is an end for me in one of them. One of them will be my demise, I’m sure of it. And it is because of that hope that I can go on.
The realm ripples around me as I sense the presence of another. I turn around with a smile and waited for the door to open.
A child’s smile.
A child’s smile that twisted and turned until it was no longer a child’s smile but a demon’s smile. A smile so horrible and cruel that none can look upon it for long. I’ll save the child’s smile for something else. For deceit, for deception…for that one day when I can finally die.
The door opens and we exchange smiles that are more predatorial than polite. I wait for his question as he surveys my room of gold. He is planning too. We are all planning something. What that something is…well, that probably won’t be clear until much later. But everything is moving.
" Your orders, Phibrizo-sama?"
I smile. A child’s smile. " I want you to go watch a certain person…by the name of Lina Inverse."