Yet Another Webpage
Sometimes Altered Mindlessness

I need out.

I mean out.

I can barely stand to stick around where I currently am.

I just don't have a way out.

To start with, most of the time I'm some level of broke. I have no income and absolutely no chance of actually getting any cooperation if I were to try to get a job.

I have tried to get a job -- but, remember, I've no transportation of my own. I have to rely on others for rides. (The public transit system where I live is somebody's idea of a bad joke.) After I have tentatively mentioned that I might try to get a job at a certain place...

To make a long story short, I haven't gotten to where I had been considering taking the job at since then.

I've also tried to actually get to some RL social things. Guess what? My rides keep doing such lovely things as agreeing to take me there...and forgetting when it's too late for me to see if I can find another ride. The real reason I don't go to cons? I can't afford to, and it's not the vendors' booths that causes that. I can't afford to because I can't afford to not pre-pay for my ticket in, and I can't rely on getting a ride to the con.

So, I can't get a job unless I get a car or a motorbike of my own, because for some reason I don't think I can rely on getting a regular lend of the use of some form of transportation if I actually thought I had an actual chance of getting allowed to do what I would have to do to get a liscence. I don't have the money to buy my own decent transport: anything I could afford to buy would be too expensive for me to keep even barely street-legal.

And here we are, back at my central problem.

Now, I do have savings -- the majority of which I actually don't have any access to, and what's almost all of what's left I'm saving because I can't get to where I want to spend it. Remember what happened when I tentatively voiced an interest in getting a job? (A job, I should add, that my bloody ride had told me about!) The same thing happens whenever I voice a wish to spend my own money on something I want.

However, they tend not to want to rent a place to you if you've got no income. I don't have enough savings to outright buy myself even a shack next to the landfill to live in -- and I'd need an income to pay utilties, anyway.

Back to my earlier problem again.

Now, assuming that I somehow manage to get a regular ride so I can actually take a job and get myself my own place...

My savings are not enough to furnish the place, if I ended up with an unfurnished place (which I probably would). I would probably be making minimum wage, which would mean that I probably wouldn't be able to afford to save much after my rent, food, and ultility bills. Priorities being what they are, I'd be sleeping on the floor, sitting on the floor, and using as a table a cheap board on eight bricks. But, I would have a computer and I would have a working 'net connection.

I should be able to afford to continue school. The majority of my savings -- the part I can't access -- is intended to cover that, and last I knew was somewhere around large enough to cover pretty much any collage or university that I might care to go to for the entire time I would be there without need for any financial help. Lucky me: that means I get to eat regularly.

I am not being a pessimist here. I'm being rather optimistic about all this. I know how much money I have, and I have some idea how much it'll take to to set myself up somewhere new. I might be better off if I had a temperment that would make having a roommate possible, but...

There is a reason why this current update isn't much of one: this whole month has been swinging wildly between mind-numbingly boring and chaotically busy, with very little time to recover from either and nobody willing to give me a chance to get the mental catch-up needed to cope done.

However, some fun has somehow managed to have been had.

For example, I got passed the URL of InternetBumperStickers.com -- which is were I got the pic I'm using as this particular piece of mindlessness's title image. (Which reminds me. Does this count as an easily readable credit & link back, or should I up the font size of this paragraph, set it to blink -- and thereby invalidate my blink-free claims -- and make it a funny color?)

Now, to tell how my week was...

It all started off with my being dragged off on Monday to join some knitters. I do not knit: what I do with knitting needles and yarn is create artistic and complicated knots. I'm much better at embroidery.

I had been wanting to get by a bookstore to pick up a lined blank book for practicing my kana and kanji in, and a book which had caught my eye about a week or two before -- and soon, before the sale currently going ended and / or they ran out of copies of the book I wanted to buy.

Tuesday was spent trying to get people to remember that I would need a ride there, so I could buy the two things I wanted.

Wednesday went pretty much the same.

Finally, on Thursday, I managed to get there. There were a couple copies of the book I wanted to get a copy of left -- and the only color they had lined blanks books in was burgendy. And this was in a large and thick edition, nothing nice and small which I could fit into a conviently-sized bag and carry around with me so I can work on my calligraphy while on the move.

Friday was mind-numbingly slow. I don't think I really need to say more then that.

Finally, on Saturday...people kept me so busy that I couldn't finish this till the next day.

Added 07.19.01 -- And then I was kept so busy that I only got to upload this today.